Greetings Remix fans, happy Friday! With Valentine’s Day looming in the background I would like to have our next few conversations geared toward quality versus quantity. The quality of your sex life can be directly linked to your overall health. I also want to focus on the sexes separately, if you will (just for these next few entries)…mainly because SEX and LOVE is experienced, explored and executed differently by men and women.
So ladies, is your sex life unsexy? Sex should be comfortable and bring happiness and if your sex is neither the problem may be bigger than you know. Ask yourself the following questions:
Are you hardly ever in the mood? If so you may have to check out, in order to check back in. Meaning is school, work, or your home life a source of stress? Stress can bring your libido to a screeching halt. Are you tired, from long hours of work, studying, or other social responsibilities? Fatigue can often sneak up on us, and we begin to think that being tired all the time is normal. Last, but not least is your relationship on the rocks? Have you and your partner been distant, talking less, and not affectionate towards each other or just plain angry with each other. As women when our relationships are suffering all other aspects of our lives suffers too, and that includes our sex lives.
- Now what? Learn to stress less. Start by relaxing your mind…Write. It may help to write about things that are bothering you. Write for 10 minutes a day about stressful events and how they made you feel. This helps you find out what is causing your stress and how it may be affecting you. After you know, you can find better ways to cope. Let your feelings out. Talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when you need to. Talking with friends, family, or a mental health professional is a healthy way to relieve stress. Do something you enjoy. You may feel that you’re too busy to do these things. But positive, healthy distractions help us make meaning, and therefore can relieve the stress of things we cannot control. Meditate. When you meditate, you focus your attention on things that are happening right now. Paying attention to your breathing is one way to focus. Next, relax your body. Exercise. This is one of the best ways to reduce stress, again do something you enjoy. Take a walk, call a friend for a Zumba class or join a water aerobics group. Staying active is not only good for your body but it’s great for your mind and can lead to a better sex life.
Are you avoiding sex because it hurts? You may be experiencing Vulvodynia ; this is a pain disorder affecting the vulva, labia, clitoris and the vaginal opening. In Generalized vulvodynia the pain can be localized in different areas of the vulva at different times. The pain can be constant or occur occasionally. Touch or pressure may prompt pain or it may not, but can make it worse. The Vulvar Vestibulitis syndrome another subset of the disorder is when pain is at the entrance of the vagina, marked by a burning sensation and comes only after touch or pressure generally from intercourse.
- Now What? See your GYNO! You want to rule out other infections by getting a complete medical evaluation. You may have to get more than one opinion. It’s your vulva and your sex life, don’t give up on it!
Are you taking forever to climax? This too could be pain, or from using certain medications. But what about alcohol? Alcohol can turn down your libido especially in larger amounts, by making it harder for you and your partner to reach climax. Recreational drugs can also affect your ability to climax, not to mention the effects on your health overall. Medications that may impede on the big O’ include but are not limited to; oral contraceptives (studies vary on the degree), anti-depressants, high blood pressure meds, and antihistamines.
- Now What? If your ability to climax has changed after starting a new medication discuss with your physician about an alternate choice. When having cocktails with the girls…or the guys set a limit and be aware of how alcohol affects your body. You want to enjoy the sex with your partner, and remember it. Not pass out or fall asleep before you both “arrive”…you know what I mean. The same thing goes for recreational drugs.
These are just some of the reasons you might not be feeling the joy of sex. What are your concerns? Or Questions? Let’s talk about making your sex life SEXIER than its ever been…by improving its QUALITY! Just in case you are still wondering why sex matters here are some benefits;
Weightloss-30 minutes of sex in exchange for 200 calories, not a bad trade, this a two for one…sex as exercise or exercise as sex, your choice
Get more sleep-light massage + medium sex = hard sleep (or the release to endorphins to help you sleep better)
Boost your Immunity-research suggests sex 1-2 times a week boost your immune system by 30%, sex for the soul…instead of chicken soup (you could have both…not at the same time…unless your into that)
Natural Pain relief-having the big O’ relieves mild to moderate pain, from headaches to menstrual cramps, so you got a headache have 1-2 orgasms, it does a body good
Relaxation and Stress Relief-duh, sex relieves tension and tactile stimulation calms the nerves…so roll over (or jump on top) and relax an orgasm is on the way
Happiness-a partnership that included regular humping was figured to bring the same levels of happiness as earning an extra $100,000 annually…well that’s all I needed to hear, money cannot buy happiness but apparently SEX can
Ok let’s talk about sex…THE GOOD, THE BETTER AND THE BEST STILL TO COME!!!!