Flesh eating, check.
Growling with flesh hanging from his or its mouth, check.
Got shot at but continued feasting, check.
Only dead after a clean shot through the head, check.
Zombie apocalypse, hopefully not.
The bizarre case of a man in Miami eating the face of another man was soon followed by news of several others. These nightmarish cases reflect real life horror stories that would likely require “Parents’ Guidance” warnings even for parents themselves.
They point to the possibility that the impending doom predicted by the ancient Mayans about the end of the world on December 21 2012 may be due to a zombie outbreak leading to the end of the human race as we know it. Cue zombie fans, geeks and harshest critics.
While the world—or whoever does not look forward to a zombie apocalypse— hopes and prays that no such thing happens, we can and should do something about it.
Zombie survival guides are aplenty on the internet and on paper in books and comics. However, we could either while down the ticking clock reading those, or start preparing for the unlikely but worst case scenario.
New York Times Bestseller, “The Zombie Survival Guide” by Max Brooks advises us to develop the first weapon— the human body.
Here are 4 Fitness Tips to (Hopefully) Prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse (Hopefully Not):
There is simply no stressing this enough. Hit the ground running, or hit the ground screaming in pain as zombies tear flesh and ligaments while remaining conscious. Cardiovascular fitness is required for running long distances. Imagine running a distance to a safe zone or escaping from the living dead without having to stop for a breath, for it may be your last.
To take a page out of Ruben Fleischer’s movie “Zombieland” in 2009, the golden rule in a set of 32 rules that the main protagonist strictly followed for survival was none other than Rule #1: Cardio. Thinking out loud, Ohio, the unlikely survivor emphasized that zombies lead a very active lifestyle, and so should you.
Run for distance at a light moderate pace.
2. Quick on your feet
Scores of zombie movies have portrayed the differing speeds at which the moaning menaces may move. As much as we would like them to move at a snail’s pace, the slowest movement may be confined to a limp. This could change into an excited lumber within a heartbeat, once they visualize or smell fresh meat for the taking. The final end of the spectrum would be the truly harbinger-of-death zombies that defy the concept of walking dead. These will galumph towards any beating hearts as fast as they can.
Time is of the essence, and both speed and agility will be fundamental. In the case of zombies that can drop the distance in seconds, we would need all the anaerobic fitness and fast twitch muscle fibres we have to out-sprint them. Agility to avoid and side step outstretched arms will make the difference between life and a painful death.
Do speed trainings, sprinting, and foot drills.
3. Bring out the cannons
No, I am not referring to the artillery (which would help), but rather the big guns on either sides of your body. Why would anyone need strong arms in a post-apocalyptic land where basic necessities are scarce and every living minute may be a nightmare?
Weapons—in particular guns—are not exactly light, especially over long distances and if running is involved. Furthermore, having the quick explosive push up in his or her repertoire will enable a survivor to remain one even after tripping or falling down while escaping an onslaught of man-eaters. A fast prone is essential to get under vehicles for cover in the quickest time possible in the case of a fast approaching horde and there is no better option than to hide.
Work those arms in the gym or do the age-old bodyweight push ups to build explosive strength and endurance.
4. Be core-full
Puny, but not funny. Not once you realise the importance of a strong core. The swinging of a blunt melee weapon relies heavily on the core and arms. To cave in the hard skull of what-was-once-human, a good strong core is quintessential. A solid core will also enable the survivor to cut through skin and bones using the viewers’ choice weapon—the chainsaw.
In the situation of an air evacuation, the core and arms of the survivor will be put to the test to climb up rescue ladders that sway violently. On the other hand, as bleak as it may be, digging graves to lay your loved ones or companions in the ground will require an unyielding core as much as a calloused heart.
Core exercises such as planks and reverse planks will work the entire core. Crunches, rows and woodcutter will be substantive. Pull ups will provide a full upper body work out to build strength and endurance for your arms and core.
These tips will not guarantee survival, but at the very least it will increase your chances exponentially. So make haste, and unlike the grey blood stained zombies, stay in the right pink of health.
To experience a fraction of the fear of running for your lives from zombies, there is a realistic 5km obstacle course called Run for your lives Zombie 5K. It would be a good start, and grant a firsthand incentive to sign up and train for.
For more information go to http://runforyourlives.com/