Gym Hair: What It Says About You

In my adult life, my hair has been long and it’s been short. I’ve needed hair ties, bobbypins, and barrettes during my workouts, depending on the particular cut. Since sometimes I am self-conscious about the condition of my hair during my gym workouts, I thought it would be fun to poke fun at all of us girls who – despite what we may say – want to look our best while working out at the gym. So, what does your gym hair say about you?

The Short and Sassyshort

It’s so freeing to have hair too short to pull back, that has no choice but to stay out of your eyes as you’re doing push-ups or running on the treadmill. It’s really every girl’s dream until you get up early and want to work out publicly before having to take a shower. Maybe you had really good dreams the night before because your hair is a hot mess! Usually it’s not something a little water can’t fix, but rockin’ the bedhead to the gym shows you have confidence and don’t care what anybody thinks about you (which is good because you won’t be picking up any guys with that bird’s nest).

What it says about you: “I just woke up, leave me alone.”

 

The Athletic Ponytail

ponytailThis style I like to associate with the most avid of exercise enthusiasts. It’s pulled back to serve a purpose, not to look cute, and that’s that. Add a pair of weightlifting gloves and you’ve got a complete badass.

What it says about you: You are ALL business.

 

 

The “Cute” Ponytail

double ponytailAdding a bit of flair to the athletic style, this is more for the tweens/teens trying to look cute as they chat on the treadmills in their tiny cheering shorts. It’s usually paired with the thin athletic headbands or braids to complete the look.

What it says about you: You’re young, fun, and want to make sure you look your best covered in sweat… that is, if you and your BFF can stop talking long enough to actually do a workout.

 

 

The Messy Updo

collegeAnother favorite of teens/college-aged women, this one says “It took me 30 minutes to get my hair to look this messy, and I will check it every 2 minutes to make sure every hair is still in place.” Also paired with athletic headbands to contain the flyaways. Think of the sporty-sexy types, like a field hockey or soccer player.

What it says about you: “I’m here to work out but I still want attention from most of the guys in here.”

 

The “I Alllllllllmost Have a Ponytail”

short-tall-ponytailIf you’ve ever tried to grow your hair out from a short style, you understand the struggle. It feels like years since those front pieces could reach far enough back to stay in a hair tie without the need for an entire pack of bobbypins, so when they finally do, you think “Yesssss! Finally!” Nevermind the fact that you actually look like a 2-year-old with your first sprout of hair sticking straight up off the top of your head. This is my reality right now, and my husband is forever reminding me that I look like a sumo wrestler.

What it says about you: You are confident, determined, and look on the bright side. Instead of saying “my ponytail isn’t long enough” and giving up, you rocked that shit. And in public!

 

The Long and Luscious

hair-doneIf you wear your hair down to work out, let’s be honest – you aren’t there to work out. You probably do your makeup before the gym too, don’t you? But if you can do burpees without choking on your hair or getting that ONE strand stuck in your eye, kudos to you!

What it says about you: “I look so much better than everyone else here and… oh wait, did I forget to post a selfie?”

 

 

 

 

(Disclaimer: This is a satirical article meant to poke fun at myself as well as others. Please don’t take it personally as it’s all in good fun.)

 

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